Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Lee Marvin on How Boars Should Handle Sows

Roger Ebert wrote an essay for Esquire many years ago about Lee Marvin.

Lee Marvin was an amazing man: Marine, sniper, actor and father. As explained in "Lee Marvin: his films and career":
Lee Marvin did not receive his first starring film role until he was 40, but in three short years--following the successes of Cat Ballou (for which he won the Academy Award as Best Actor), The Professionals and especially The Dirty Dozen--he was the most popular film actor in America. Marvin was a fascinating man, a loving husband and father, and one of the most natural, effective actors of his time.
Below is some of Lee Marvin's advice. Although he's addressing how men how ought to behave towards women, on this blog, we stick to pigs. We don't have anything to say about how men ought to treat women; the company simply doesn't address that.

That said, I couldn't help but note that boars (at least our Mangalitsa boars) already behave the way Lee Marvin advises. Over millions of years, they've evolved to do their job. Without fail, they do what Lee Marvin recommends:
LaBoo [a dog], who had edged into the house through a crack in the door, walked out of the bedroom now with a pair of women's panties in his mouth.

"Christ, LaBoo, keep those panties out of sight," Marvin said. "Last night, she says, where'd you get these panties? I dunno, I say. She says, well they're not mine. I say, honey, I sure as hell didn't wear them home." Marvin sighed and held his hands palms up in resignation. "The only way to solve a situation with a girl," he said, "is just jump on her and things will work out."
Ala Marvin, the boars "just jump on them and things work out." The sows that aren't getting jumped may get jealous as they watch a boar breed other sows (the hotter ones) right in front of them, but as long as the boars are appropriately dominant, the jealous sows don't dare cause problems with the boar. Sow-on-sow bullying is a problem, but even then, the presence of a dominant boar reduces bullying.

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